February 10, 2010

but trust me on completing a triathlon.

in college i was part of
jmu club triathlon. 
i did it for the motivation
there were always people to work out with
great cycling classes
reserved pool times. 

i didn't find the other members particularly friendly, 
but maybe i was too busy
with my own friends to notice. 

i was cleaning out some of the folders
on my mac
to free up some space
and found this document - 
triathlon advice
(based off the sunscreen song);
surprisingly fitting
for my
half marathon race
on feb 28! 

here it is:

Ladies and gentlemen of JMU Triathlon Club, if I could offer you only one tip for the future, completing a triathlon would be it. The benefits of this sport have been proven. The rest of my advice is nothing more than my own meandering experience which I will now impart.
Beware of train tracks, especially those on Route 11. But it is acceptable if you do not. Chicks dig scars. Go to meetings. Enjoy road trips. It is the best way to get to know your teammates since they have nowhere to hide and they can not escape. Secure bike racks.

Your sleep and meals two days/nights before the race are the most important. Expect to toss and turn the night before the race. Name your bike. Stay away from high fiber, greasy, caffeinated, or different foods from your normal diet that may cause stomach problems. Unless, of course, you want to spend the race in a port-a-potty.

 Carbo load. Eat bread. Garlic bread. What your body does not need, you will get rid of race morning. Don’t forget to have your run number on when you cross the finish line.

Give positive comments to others during your race. Cheer for people before and after you race. Thank volunteers. Make lots of noise. Remember, the crazier the better. Do not be surprised if you pass buff studs. Do not be surprised if you get passed by a 50 year old.

Enjoy your body. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Use it every way you can- try three ways within an hour (swim, bike, run). And remember, you look hot in spandex.

Wear purple and gold. Use body glide. On your feet, in between your toes, inner thighs, behind armpits, between your butt. Anywhere to prevent chaffing. Fundraise.

Expect to be hit with propelling objects like arms and legs during the swim. Expect your legs to become Jello when transitioning from the bike to the run; feeling like you are moving backwards is normal. Expect the unexpected (like a flooded transition area).

 Drink water. Drink Gatorade. Eat Cliff Bars and Cliff Shots. But do not do anything differently race day if you have not done so in training.
Do not attempt to put on a tight jersey or shirt after the swim unless you want to give spectators a good laugh. Have an extra of everything.

Don’t forget to smile, have fun, and realize you are doing something few are ever able to dream of. Stay in sketchy hotels. Enjoy the post race food. Consuming twice the amount of calories you burned can be expected. Keep your old race bibs.

Do not shower for as long as possible. You will want to show everyone your body markings. If showering is a must, then I suggest getting some sun. This will cause your numbers to appear white on your red skin.

 Don’t agonize over times. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. After all, it’s the experience that counts.

But trust me on completing a triathlon.


Colleen said...

Love this! who wrote it? i am so proud of you for running a half marathon you crazy girl!
xo always!

prashant said...

Lovely post.
God bless you.
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